~No pictures. Just thoughts.~

The sun is not shining today.

The once yellow leaves are now turning brown and covering my lawn.

My parents came for a lovely visit, but left all too soon.

Then I felt like a bus ran me over for two days and three nights.

And Nick went to class all evening.

The babies watched 2 shows in the morning and a movie all night.

In my opinion that was way too much television.

I didn't cook at all for three days.

And my family lived off leftovers, cheerios and craisins.

Even chocolate cake didn't taste good.

I'm not likely to get the seasonal job I applied for.

And the laundry just kept piling up.

This morning I woke up and felt a little better.

No motrin needed today.

And Megan brought me soup. Yummmmm.

Despite the clouds, the grey,

the overflowing laundry baskets,

the screaming little Lyssa,

and all the other things that could make me feel unhappy

for some reason I feel Hopeful.

Hmmmmm.

Someone must be praying hard for me today.

Who ever you are, Thanks.

P.S. All this hopefulness reminds me of this talk from General Conference. Read it! It might make you feel hopeful and loved too.

~It's a good thing these kids...~

are cute. Because things have been a little scary around here lately... and not because it's Halloween time... though my children do regularly turn into vicious little Gremlins. Yes, you heard me right. Vicious Little Gremlins.

While the boy has left me mentally and emotionally exhausted, the girl has left me physically exhausted. The boys is demanding of attention and the girl is demanding of attention. When they do not receive constant attention they

A. beat the tare out of each other (and believe me, it's a two sided battle... Lyssa can be terribly vicious)

or

B. join forces to reck absolute havoc on everything they see (shredding paper to pieces, throwing every book, emptying all clothes and blankets out of dressers, destroying each others art projects, taring apart couches, futons, couch covers, emptying out DVD cases and scratching cds, destroying folded laundry piles, climbing on tall bookcases, dumping and grinding cereal/crasins into rugs, toilet papering the bathroom, opening doors and escaping to the outside, dumping perfume, taking italian showers with Nicks cologne, emptying out my purse, building tall towers to reach the oreos on top shelf and eating them all, locking me out of the house when I try to get the mail, locking me out of the bathroom, locking me out of bedrooms, attempting to lock me in a bedroom, etc.)

My mother once told me that she never felt like she had any time to herself until her youngest child (at the time... after the 1st three she spread us out a bit) turned 2 years old. As we quickly approach that long awaited birthday for Lyssa, I find myself feeling more trapped and my children more demanding than they were even three months ago.

I woke with so much hope for today, the sun shining and babies sleeping in until almost 8 am! By the time I got out of the shower and got the kids up the sky was dully clouded over, and the vicious little Gremlins appeared. Then Monster Mommy finally snapped and came out of her cave. It was a nasty, painful day for everyone involved. Even at Sam's Club they were going at it...

Is this just a stage? Is it the season change? Or is this just the self diagnosed seasonal affect disorder talking?

Whatever it is, something has to change.

Say it with me. "Tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow will be a better day."

~Big Personality from a Little Guy~

Where did Alec learn that face???

The last few weeks have brought some interesting comments from this little man.

Usually when you ask Alec why he did something he replies "Because I did and I did and I did and I did." After making a colossal mess of his room... like the entire dresser was emptied out and cereal spilled and crushed all over the floor, in frustration Nick asked Alec, "Why did you do that?" Alec replied, "Because I'm 2, Daddy. Because I'm 2."

We were at a mall playgroup when Alec decided he no longer wanted to play with his friend. He wanted to climb and play all over the penny ponies and trucks (that cost much more than a penny) strategically placed next to the play area and a large bank of candy machines. I told Alec that if he could play nicely and be happy for 30 minutes then we could go sit on the trucks for a few minutes, but if he continued to whine or complain we would go straight home and take a nap.

Every few minutes he could come ask if it was time yet. Around 10 minutes he got frustrated and started yelling at me. I said "Oh no! Are you whining?" He replied "I'M NOT WHINING. I'M YELLING!"

Touche, Alec. Touche.

~Center Grove Apple Orchard~

A few moons ago we made the first of a few happy visits to Center Grove Apple Orchard. The babies love this place, and I surely loved the whole pecks of honey crisp apples...

We also enjoyed the company of many playgroup friends.

My favorite spot is the corn pool, just like last year!

Only this year the little guy absolutely loved the corn pool...

and this little girl was mortified...

except when she was throwing corn at her friends...

or watching her Iowa cousin, Jakob, having a fabulous time.

The little tractors are always a hit.

Alec could spend hours on this thing.

I promise, Lyssa really did have a grand ole time despite her expressions...

In fact we all had such a good time that we got season passes so I could go back with the kids a few more times, and bring Nick along for a weekend visit. More on that fabulous picture day to come.

Happy Fall!

~October Snow~

October 10, 2009 we awoke to winter wonderland... the first snow of the season.

(Notice how all the leaves are still green on my trees and shrubs)

The little man rejoiced at the sight of this magical white wonder and we bundled up to play outside. (We also rejoiced when it all melted by lunch time.)

Notice my white petunias still trying to cling to life amid the frost.

Snow angels.

(If only there had bit a little more snow we would have made a snow man!)

Elyssa did not appreciate waking up to the cold falling snow. She cried and kept calling it white rain. She was much happier to watch it from the indoors.

Good thing we bought snow boots last weekend! Alec was happy to put them to good uses.

Based on Alec's reaction, I have a feeling we are going to have lots of fun with snow this winter.

~Happiness in a Bottle... and a few other things~

Things making me happy this week...

1. My rainbow of Ikea plates and bowls.... every time I open that cupboard I smile.

2. My little Lyssa fairy... who couldn't smile at that cuteness! With Mortimer by her side, she'll make all your dreams come true. :-)

3. Fanny's Dream.... my friend Becca let me borrow this book after she read it to her children and thought of me. She said it's totally a Chrissy book. Fanny's Dream can be found here. (Note to Family: I would totally accept this storybook as a Christmas gift... you wouldn't have to twist my arm or anything!)

4. My van in the garage... We've been storing other people's tools from our kitchen remodel for far too long. Saturday's snow was enough to motivate us to return tools and organize our own stuff. Now I have a happy clean garage. Yay! Speaking of snow, that brings me to #5...

5. The magical snow Saturday morning.... watching Alec jump up and down so excited was totally worth getting up at 7am on a saturday. We just threw our boots and coats on over our pajamas and went out to play. It really was magical....

6. This beautiful blue vase... Nick's friend, Onur, came to dinner last night bearing gifts: treats for the babies and this little lovely for me. I think I could redecorate an entire room based off this one vase. Love it.

7. The Wicked soundtrack... in preperation for the show this weekend my friend Sara let me borrow the soundtrack and let me just say I'm in love! I can't help but smile and dance and sing at the top of my lungs to "Dancing through Life". The babies think the music is pretty awewsome too. At the end of every song Lyssa says "Moe Moe Music please Moma!" Alec has started to ask if we can listen to "Wicked!"

~Sometimes I think too much...~

I'm so excited to go see Wicked this weekend, yet at the same time I'm a little nervous.

Once upon a time my fairytale dream included singing and dancing on a broadway stage in the chorus of a show of this caliber. The realities of my now fairytale life (along with lack of talent and my extreme distaste for rejection) have taken me far away from that dream. Most of the time I'm okay with that. But as bizarre as it may sound, watching a wonderful performance can become a bitter sweet experience for me. I find myself longing to perform on the stage, to dance and sing with so much passion that my heart feels like fire and in my mind I'm floating 10 feet off the ground. Seriously, performing gives me a high rarely matched.

Being a mother can give me that high.

Listening to Alec sing "I feel my Savior's love in all the world around me. His spirit warms my soul through everything I seeeeee!" Kissing Lyssa's round little cheeks, and hearing her say "Dank eww, Mama!" Watching Alec jump up and down excitedly squealing over the site of the first snow fall... even at 7am on a Saturday morning. Watching Lyssa's expression when I "paint" her face with my hair.

Having Alec tell me unsolicitedly that dinner is soooo yummy or when he asks me "Did that make you happy?" Watching them take their first steps, seeing them dance and sing their own little songs, becoming their own little people, and watching their satisfaction with themselves when they figure something out on their own.

Saturday night we were all laying on my bed upstairs after baths and a tickle war when Alec sighed a deep sigh and said "We're a happy family."

I smiled, looked at Nick and my heart melted. I felt like I was in a movie, floating mid-air, defying gravity and I desperately wanted time to stand still. I wanted to take that moment and lock it deep in my heart to remind me how wonderful things can be, because lets be honest... motherhood is not always so lovely or glamorous. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. This is my life.

This was my choice, and it was the right choice.

And if I can give my children happy memories where they feel like they are flying through life...

safe and secure with parents that love them (and dearly love each other), and the knowledge that there is a Heavenly Father who loves them, then that is a happy fairytale ending for me.

~Personal Puff Pancakes and Apple Syrup~

I've been in the baking, cooking mood this Fall. I've been making lots of my classic tried and true favorites, but I'm also trying to branch out a bit and try some new delights. A blog I frequent called Tongue -n- Cheeky (formerly known as Conversation with a Cupcake) always has creative delightful looking treats, but many seem more complicated than I have time. This one, however, I had to try. I tweaked them a bit to fit the ingredients in my household and found them to die for so I will share...Personal Puff Pancakes

5-6 ramekins, tea cups, or mugs

5-6 Tbsp. Butter

4 large eggs

1 c. flour

2 Tbsp. sugar

1/2 tsp. salt

1 c. milk

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Put 1 Tbsp. butter in each bowl (or mug) and place on cookie sheet in oven until butter is melted. Meanwhile, beat eggs until light yellow. Add flour, sugar, salt, milk and mix well. Evenly spoon batter into hot bowls and return to oven to bake for 15-18 minutes, or until edges are brown. (Don't open oven until complete or pancakes will fall.) Cover with your favorite berry or apple syrup. (We've tried both and love them equally.) Serve asap.

Apple Syrup

2 large honey crisp apples diced (though you could probably use any yummy apple variety)

2 Tbsp. butter

2-3 tsp. ground cinnamon

dash of nutmeg

1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

1/2 c. maple syrup

Melt butter in sauce pan over medium heat. Saute diced apples, cinnamon, and nutmeg in butter until apple have softened. Add vanilla and maple syrup. Heat through and serve over hot pancakes.
And there you have it! The babies LOVED these yummy treats, and Nick wasn't complaining either. Not exactly the healthiest dish, but yummy and oh so fun in your own personal little cup. Why do things taste so much better when they come in pretty bowls? Enjoy!

~Friday's Surprise~

Nick asked me if we had any plans for Friday. I said no and he told me to keep it open. I tried not to think too much about it, but all week I knew something must be up. Friday morning rolled around and I got a call from Nick to pack separate over night bags for myself and the kiddos and make sure to include swimming suits for everyone. I was intrigued! He said I would receive further instruction that afternoon. Around 2pm I got a text to check my e-mail, where I got directions to a newly opened Ramada Tropics Inn.

As soon as we arrived Nick came out and helped us inside to see the Indoor water park and take us to our room! The kids were ecstatic! Seriously, they were walking through the halls like they owned the place, and thought the room was awesome. We jumped on the massive king sized bed for a few minutes, ooooed and ahhed over the pretty roses Nick brought me, and the glass walk in shower and big screen tv. Then we quickly changed into our swimming suits and were off to the waterpark! (Notice the new hair... it was a day old, but still salon styled and I wanted to get a picture of it so I could remember what it was supposed to look like if I found myself the lucky owner of a chi flat iron...)

Hardly a soul was e at the pool at 3:30 in the afternoon so we had the place to ourselves! We climbed all over the waterslides, the pirate ship, the fountains, and even took a dip in the hot tub. Lyssa and Alec were a little hesitant to go down the big water slides, but ended up loving it! Lyssa would giggle the entire way down and as soon as we hit the water she would say "gaain! gaain!" (Lyssa talk for "again").

After two hours of water lovin' fun, we headed back to our rooms to shower and get food for the babies. They were such a hoot to watch just lounging on the bed, watching a cartoon movie, eating their "picnic dinner". Once I was finished attempting to tame the new hair, we headed out for dinner, dropping the kids off with Auntie Tiffany and Uncle Greg, who loved them to pieces until lunch time the next day. We went to Macaroni Grill, and headed out to a few stores without having to worry about being home by 8pm... so fun! The next morning we were able to sleep in, go swimming a little bit (Nick went down the waterslides head first at least 10 times) and went out for a yummy breakfast before picking up our happy babies. (Thanks Greg and Tiffany for loving our kiddos!) We all had so much fun I think we'll go back again for another weekend in January or February... you know, when the weather gets frigid and gross and all we want to do is hop on the first plane to Florida. :-)

Like I told Nick while dining on delightful lemony chicken, this surprise meant a lot to me. I've always been a lover of surprises so the timing couldn't be better. I much rather have a smaller anniversary celebration next month (where celebration is anticipated) and have a surprise celebration now (when I would least expect it). Though most people would never guess, this last month has been a really hard one for me in many ways. I'm on the other side of that valley cruising upward, but this certainly helps me keep my momentum to climb back up to where I want to be. Thank you so much, Nick, for planning a wonderful weekend for the entire family.

But most of all, thanks for always loving

me.

I love you more than all the Granite City Chocolate Cake we could ever eat... and you know how I feel about their chocolate cake!!!

~Fall's Beauty~

Remember the front tree in our yard that I posted about here and here? Well, look at the little beauties it's covered with now!

Each day a few more leaves fall off and the berries get brighter, like little red jewels calling to all the birds who pass by on their southward journey. Sadly a few of these birds have flown into my front window, abruptly ending their life and making my heart skip a beat.

And to think when we moved in I thought this tree was diseased and dying.

I'm so glad we didn't cut it down. :-)

~Cheeseburger Pie~

When I was in fourth grade my mother and I found this recipe in the Alpha Bakery Children's Cookbook and decided to try it out for dinner. I loved it! And I still love it. It's quick, easy, and only requires ingredients that I typically have in my kitchen. Yay!Cheeseburger Pie

Pat in pan pastry (combine 1 1/3 c. flour, 1/2 tsp. salt. 1/2 c. shortening, 3 to 4 Tbsp. water)

1 lb. ground hamburger (I just ground turkey)

1/2 to 3/4 c. finely chopped onion

1 clove garlic, pressed or minced

1/4 c. flour

1/3 c. dill pickle juice

1/3 c. milk

1/2 c. chopped dill pickles

2 c. shredded cheddar cheese

Heat oven to 425 degrees. Prepare pastry and pat into bottom and sides of pie pan. Bake for 15 minutes. Brown meat, onion and garlic in skillet. Drain excess grease. Sprinkle with flour. Stir in pickle juice, milk, pickles and 1 c. cheese. Spoon into pie pan. Bake 15 minutes, then sprinkle remaining cheese on top. Bake until crust is golden brown and cheese is melted (about 5 minutes). Enjoy!!

~Sara's Peaches 'n' Cream Pie~

I tried this pie a year ago and fell in love. This may be the best pie I've ever tasted. The day Sara posted this recipe on her blog I tried it out. Delightful! When peaches went on sale this Fall I simply had to make it again. I thought I would share this goodness with all of you!

Sara's Peaches 'n' Cream Pie

2 prepared baked pie crusts

1 1/2 c. mashed peaches (I blanched my peaches in hot water, skinned them , and pureed them in the blender)

3 Tbs. cornstarch

1 c. granulated sugar

1 pint whipping cream

1/2 c. powdered sugar

4 oz. cream cheese, softened

1 tsp. vanilla

3-4 c. sliced fresh peaches (again, I blanched my peaches in hot water for a few seconds and wiped the skins off before slicing)

In saucepan, mix mashed peaches, cornstarch, and granulated sugar on stove top over medium heat. Stir constantly until glaze begins to boil. Remove from heat and refrigerate until cool.

Meanwhile, whip cream until soft peaks form. In separate bowl, beat cream cheese, powdered sugar, and vanilla. Fold in whipped cream. Spread half of cream mixture into bottom of prepared pie crust. Place sliced peaches on top of cream mixture. Pour cooled glaze on top of fresh peaches. Spread remaining cream mixture on top of pie. Serve as soon as possible.

Thanks for the fabulous recipe, Sara!!

~A Little Fire~

Sunday wasn't a bad day, but after taking care of the kids all morning while Nick was gone to meetings, doing almost two hours of singing time, giving a talk in sacrament, caring for napless children, making dinner and then cleaning it all up my head was pounding something fierce. I decided to take a rest on the couch and close my eyes for a bit.

I must have conked out pretty hard because when I woke up the living room floor that had once been covered with books and toys was spotless and the house was dark and quiet. I couldn't find Nick or the babies anywhere. I looked outside and saw that the predicted storm was blowing in. A cloud of smoke blowing across my backyard behind the garage caught my attention. At first I thought it was my next door neighbor's son out smoking his hourly cigarette (nasty nasty habit) but was alarmed to see he had chosen the front porch for his evening drag. Baffled I went out to investigate the source of smoke behind my garage and discovered this...

High winds and 58 degrees and Lyssa in only a onsie, with Alec shirtless in shorts and no shoes, snuggling on his daddy's leg while roasting smores over a makeshift fire pit.

The kids were freezing, but didn't complain. They were just happy to be with their Daddy.

In fact, they were in heaven.

What a fun Daddy, eh?

We love you more than all the camp fire smores ever made!